The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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