where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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