I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize