Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize