Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize