I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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