im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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