blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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