Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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