i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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