Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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