remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
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So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
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Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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