You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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