My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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