i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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