I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize