your parents love me but you hate me
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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