I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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