I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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