you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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