I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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