Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize