Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
wow bdsm is so cute
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize