It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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