Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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