Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
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I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
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I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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