im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize