the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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