you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize