I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize