He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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