fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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