Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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