this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize