NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize