When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
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