this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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