If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
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Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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