Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
As shirtless as possible
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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