i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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