Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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