if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
FUCK WHALES
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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