No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
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