I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize