Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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