I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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