Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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