we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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