we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize