some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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